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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?